I am writing this in a small Airbnb with only one window which looks out over a rooftop and is surrounded by other buildings.
Some would find it claustrophobic. I find it quiet and peaceful. Bliss.
It has taken me quite a while to find my inner introvert, to acknowledge him and let him grow.
Before coming to Strasbourg, I had spent a month in Germany – 3 weeks of which was in other people’s company which was fine to a point but …
I know I lose myself when I am with others – find it difficult to be assertive when all I really want to do is be like Greta Garbo.
When I decided to write a post about my introvertism (is that a word?) I looked at other travel blogs for people who had the same trait – and didn’t find many.
Travel seems to be full of extroverts wanting to savour the sights and sounds of the masses in the wonder spots of Barcelona, Phuket or New York. Even when these people do go to quiet places it appears to be partly to meet the locals, regardless of whether the locals want to meet them.
One blog I found which spoke to me – was from a young woman “the young adventuress,” who must have a very wise head on such young shoulders. She outlines some of the issues to do with being an introverted traveller so much better than I could – so I suggest if you are interested you should read here:
If you don’t have time to read the article I can sum up a few of her paragraph headlines:
- People don’t get it and think that you’re weird.
- Slow travel is my kind of travel.
- You’re good at being invisible.
I can relate to all of these. I wonder if the “being invisible” thing was linked to my gambling addiction. Few people notice the guy at the slot machine – only if he has a huge payout (which happens rarely.)
But one thing that came up for me whilst exploring with others was the question “what are you hoping to get out of this?” which was asked repeatedly by one of my co-travellers.
And it took some time being on my own in a claustrophobic flat in Strasbourg to come up with the answer.
I want to get to know myself better. No more than that – I want to get to love myself better.
You see I have been on the road for 6 months now. I have driven to remote locations, walked along empty shorelines, ridden in crowded Metros in some of the biggest cities in Europe and dealt with washing machines in several languages.
I have endured blisters, a lost suitcase, a money exchange disaster and dealt with several drunks.
And what I come back to is the fact that I have done it. I have coped – maybe not very well but I have coped. I am learning that I am able to cope.
I can drive on the “wrong” side of the road and get a speeding flash. I can order food in German and not be too phased when I get something totally unexpected. I can be ill with a chesty cough in Strasbourg and find things to do with my time that don’t involve going out.
And as I do things which are new (nearly every day) I find out more about myself and my abilities and slowly the years of thinking that I am not good enough are being washed away.
To be replaced by a new respect for this 62 year old world traveller and writer.
I once read a book called “Wherever you go, there you are.” It was about mindfulness and it was making the point that if you are unhappy with your life in Strasbourg, then going to Paris is unlikely to make a difference. But, of course, the opposite is also true. If you are happy with your life then Paris is likely to be glorious.
We shall see next week!
So in order to answer the question – what do I hope to get out of all this travel?
Well I could either be happy in my bedroom back in Sheffield or I could be travelling.
I was also happy in bedrooms in Goole and in Ibstock and in other unglamorous locations in England. But I was more than happy when looking out over the skies and dunes in Donegal, over the wide river in Liege and over the disturbing rooftops of Regensburg.
I guess I am chasing the beauty of the world and yes, I know there is beauty everywhere if you care to look for it. But I am now someone who has learnt to have his breath taken by the sea crashing into the shoreline, of seeing red squirrels hiding in the woods, of marvelling at the medieval craft obvious in some of Europe’s churches and cathedrals.
I have had (for the most part) a wonderful 6 months and am now looking forward to many more.
