I started planning this blog whilst I was on the early stages of my travels in Co. Donegal and Co. Galway and it was whilst doing some research that I decided to look and see if there were any other ex-gamblers who had become counsellors. Perhaps because I was in Ireland – one name topped the Google list, that of Tony O’Reilly.
One of my constant issues with my gambling is how “small scale” to me it seems – only a few tens of thousands after all – money from loans, credit cards, earnings and inheritance. Tony O’Reilly would have no worries about thinking his gambling was small scale. Not when his book subtitle is “the astonishing story of the postman who gambled Eur. 10,000,000.”
Yep – I have not put too many 0s in there. Those really are the figures, although to be fair – that was the amount he gambled – not the amount he lost, but then his losses still totalled over 1 million Euros – mostly money from his employer at the time An Post.
So perhaps naively, I emailed him at his practice – explaining that we were in “similar” situations and expressing an interest in meeting up. To my surprise he answered and offered one date in Dublin the following week – but I couldn’t make it by public transport and felt driving to Dublin was too much – and although I tried to sort out another date, he failed to reply.
In the meantime, I drove to Galway to get hold of a copy of his book “Tony 10” – his account name at Paddy Power; and started to read it. On the whole, I enjoyed it – well perhaps enjoy is not the right word. It was a difficult read for me. The part that had the most impact was the latter end of his gambling story, where it seems he was totally consumed by the need to have a bet.
Tony was a sports betting man and was into the odds on all sorts of things (apparently the papers later found it odd that he could gamble thousands on the outcome of a Norwegian women’s football match.) I felt that this part of the book might be a difficult read for someone who’s problem had been sports betting as it seemed to go into more detail of specific bets than was warranted. But then again it was part of his story and much more interesting than my “and then three plums came up and I won £5.00!
I think the other part of his story which touched me, was his thinking that if he “borrowed” a little money from his employer which he could pay it back when he won. Although he did win, the money was then just ammunition for more gambling until he reached a point where he knew that he would never be able to pay it back. When he knew he was about to be found out, he went on the run to Belfast and even when he was on the point of being captured by the police and his family who were distraught and out looking for him; even at that point he was still putting on bets.
I did wonder, (it was hinted at but never said,) if he contemplated suicide. With the amount of debt he was in and knowing that he would be looking at a term in prison thus separating from his wife and daughter, I wonder how it could not have been in his mind. Suicide from gambling is something that should concern all of us – and will be the subject of another post.
The latter part of the book details his life in a rehab centre, where strangely he spent the first few days in his pyjamas, (it was mainly a centre for drug and alcohol abuse.) He writes a journal there and there are extracts from his time of dealing with the pain of what he has done. The latter part of the book also looks at his prison journey (he served 18 months of a 3 year sentence) and just touches on his life since as a counsellor.
As an ex-gambler myself – I think what the book portrays is an accurate picture of how a brain can be consumed by gambling – almost to the point where nothing else matters. It wasn’t just when I was gambling that my head was scrambled; there was the time leading up to gambling, the “should I, shouldn’t I period.” Then, there was the period of remorse afterwards. There was the time spent thinking about how to raise cash for gambling – and later when I had made the decision to quit – all the strategies I tried to put in place in order to stop myself from going anywhere near a machine or casino.
This brain take-over lasts not just when in action, but for some time after quitting. My debts were a constant reminder of what I had done – even though they were not all caused by my gambling. But there is still an often dialogue in my head of “what if I had never gambled … what then.”
“Leaders are “twice-born” individuals who endure major events that lead to a sense of separateness, or perhaps estrangement, from their environment. As a result, they turn inward to re-emerge with a created rather than inherited sense of identity.” That quote is something that Tony finds in a book on the history of the Jesuits by Professor Abraham Zalenik. Now I am not sure about “leader” and I am not too sure about, “enduring a major event;” but I do know that I did turn inward for some time after my gambling stopped and I guess I have created a new sense of identity – one which is proud of what I have come through and what I have achieved in life – although I am still battling with the poor self-esteem of my childhood and early adult-hood to this day.
So, to sum up – I would recommend this book to people who are interested in compulsive gambling and want an insight into the mind of a “high roller” as Tony obviously was – at least in terms of his stakes. I would recommend it to gambler’s who are strong in their recovery – but I think a newly stopped gambler, especially a sports / betting shop gambler might need to be cautious as it could lead to gambling thoughts again.
I don’t know if Tony will ever read this post, I don’t know why our correspondence came to a complete halt. It could be that I didn’t give him enough information for him to trust that my objectives in meeting up were principled. It could be that he had lots of other things on his plate. I am sorry that the meet-up didn’t happen and unless I get to Ireland again is unlikely to do so. I do wish him well in his future endeavours and in helping others to find their way through this poisonous addiction.
There is more information on the book “Tony 10” from Goodreads.
Do yourself (and your local bookshop) a favour and order from them.
If you must go to Amazon – then please wait until I have an affiliate link. (Only joking!)
