I smile as I write this, because of course I can only use up the time I am given and there is only a finite supply. I think this is why I am putting myself under so much stress to complete my goal of travelling across the world slowly and also why I regret my gambling days still. It wasn’t just the money I lost, there was so much wasted time too – which I have written about in another post here.
So, I thought it would be useful to outline how I as a nomad (or slowmad as the new portmanteau word would have it!) spend my time and I am hoping that this post might work as self-therapy and teach me how I can stop stressing about this “lack of time!”
Perhaps I should start off by saying that I identify as a person with very low energy. That wasn’t always the case. I remember being very energised in my teens and early 20s and when the slow down happened around the age of 22-3 I recall going to see a GP and being fobbed off with, “it’s all in the mind there’s nothing wrong with you.” It was at this point that I started to put on a lot of weight – unsurprising as I was too tired to exercise, so later I got “if you lost weight you would be more energised,” not recognising that the lack of energy came first. Later still I had my emergency operation for a strangulated hernia and lost a lot of weight before and after the surgery, but no return of energy. Then it was “ah it’s the effects of the anaesthetic.” Then it was because I was depressed that I was tired – even though I tried to argue that I was depressed BECAUSE I was tired all the time. So now I have just accepted that I am a low-energy person and leave it at that. But it does tend to mean that as I probably only manage to complete half of what a high energy person can do, it might take me twice as long to get there but I get there.
How I spend my time …
- Paid work.
I’ll admit I put the work “paid” in there to differentiate it from all the other non-leisure stuff I do. My paid work is with Cambly and I have another blog post about what it’s like to work for them here. At the moment I am keeping my tutoring down to about 12 hours a week, including preparation time. I would do more but I find it so hard to fit everything else in as it is!
- Language Learning.
I always commit to 30 minutes a day and I try to make it to 1 hour a day. This is something that I always find time to do – hence my current 1126 streak on Duolingo (I also work on Memrise as well, but they don’t record streaks!) In the past I have taken one to one lessons on Italki and may go back to this at some point.
- Travel & Travel Planning.
I often forget how much time actual travelling takes. There is the going from place to place which can take whole days out of my schedule. Then there is the planning of both transport and accommodation and believe me the latter can take many hours as my previous posts on Airbnb show. First here and second here.
- Exercise.
I walk for at least 45 minutes a day and often for over an hour – this is on top of my normal day to day walking (to the shops for instance) which I do more of now that I have sold my car. In addition I dance in the apartments I am in for at least 20 minutes a day. This not only helps with my exercise goal but keeps me joyful too!
- Writing.
For the blog, my monthly newsletter and on Facebook. I try to post on the latter at least once a day so that people know I am still alive and I have alerted several people to check in with me if they don’t see a post for 4 consecutive days without prior warning that I am going to be off-line. I also keep a daily journal.
- Tarot Practice.
As a minimum I do a daily draw, usually three cards, which causes me to think of issues I may need to face during the day. I also am trying to do readings for other people with the thought of becoming an online professional reader in time.
- Co-counselling.
This is one which varies a lot depending on what is going on in my life and what is going on in the co-counselling world. I have been to on-line and real time events and am currently having weekly sessions for about an hour at a time. Again I would like to do more but …
- Everything else!
Being on my own means not sharing some of the day-to-day chores such as cooking and cleaning etc. I am well aware that cooking or making beds for two is almost as quick as for one, so it would be nice to share some of this. However it does take less time to do some of the other things as there is no negotiation to go through first!
Now my problem is that I want to do more of most of this stuff. I hear of people who keep down a full time job whilst studying for a masters degree. I also was watching a talk by a Dr Andrea Pennington who was studying for a medical degree whilst hosting a TV show on the side! I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people – but I do enjoy everything I do AND I want to have time to meet with people and enjoy food and drink out of the flat on occasion – WITHOUT feeling guilty.
Another area of this is the things that I have given up on – that I no longer do because I don’t feel I have the time to do them and they put me through such stress.
The first and obvious one for me – was the decision to stop learning the piano. This happened when I was about 14 or so and I just felt that I couldn’t do the practice that I was required to do (and wanted to do) and also study for my O levels. Something had to give. I remember being really alone with this decision as my mother who told me she had not gone to school beyond the age of 13 – would not have understood and I had no-one else close to talk to. In the end I decided that having decent O levels would be more valuable in my life than the piano exams and so it proved … but I wish now I had picked it up again after my O levels … but I got into gambling instead.
There have been other things. I stopped watching snooker (which I really liked) because of how long it took and later stopped going to football matches – although I used to be a season ticket holder at Crewe Alexandra. I now don’t do many things I used to do – such as going to concerts, movies (I don’t even watch films on TV and only occasionally on youtube.) I am concerned that it will spill over to not going out from the places I am at on my travels. For example, when I was in Vienna for a month I did not visit any other city whilst there even though Linz was near and I would never be nearer to Saltzburg. So an effort needs to be made so that I don’t slip into some sort of apathy and spend the whole day playing solitaire or reading obscure group posts on facecloth.
There is also the slight worry that I might slip back into gambling. I do wonder if there are so many amusement arcades in crap seaside towns because it causes people to make the effort to go to them for a nice day out and when they get there (especially if the weather is bad – which it often is in the UK) there is nothing much else to do – so people get sucked in and money extracted. Boredom was a big part of my slip into gambling and keeping busy has been a big part of my recovery, so I wonder if I am in some way over compensating for this …
What is the answer? I wish I knew. I need to find a balance between getting things done and not putting myself under too much stress – especially as this detrimentally affects my health. I need to find ways to remain comfortable and calm … I will continue to work on solutions both via co-counselling and my self therapy through tarot. I don’t have all the answers but maybe when I have some I will be able to find the time to write about them here in this blog!
