When anyone admits that they have a gambling problem
the first place others recommend is often Gamblers’ Anonymous or GA. But what is the program like?
What can you expect when you get there?
What are the pluses and minuses of the fellowship?
NB. This post has been updated from July 2020 with a link to the virtual meetings (mostly via zoom) which have become necessary with the virus limiting personal contact.
If you currently have a gambling problem and need to get hold of GA the links are here – for the UK and here – for the US (with worldwide addresses.) I will repeat these at the end of the post. A link to a site listing the new online meetings made necessary by the pandemic – world-wide but accessible from anywhere – is here!
Important note: If you are still actively gambling and you want to stop. Attend A GA MEETING either in person or (now) online. Attend at least one – if possible, go to 2 or 3 different ones – BEFORE you make your mind up that it is not for you. I still think that it is the best place for an active gambler to go to, in order to get stopped.
There are references to the 12 steps, the literature and the book. Rather than repost all that material here, I would recommend if you are interested that you look up the references on the Gamblers’ Anonymous website.
My story:
I arrived at GA in Manchester, England on a windy night in 1989 – realising that I could not go on gambling and that I needed to stop. It was in the basement of a probation office in the red light area. I walked down the stairs and was ushered into a room, the wrong room – one that was for the GAMANON meeting for families of gamblers. No, I was a gambler.
The meeting format (and I know that this has not changed much in the following 30 years) was that the attenders (in this case around 20) sat in a circle and gave their first names only and how long since their last bet. After a preliminary reading from “the book” certain people spoke to say their first name and to give a “therapy.” This usually consisted on saying how they came to be a compulsive gambler, what damage they had done whilst active and how their recovery was now going. Not everyone spoke – the “chair” for the evening invited some to tell their story and some wanted to volunteer, but time was made for the new members (another, younger chap and myself) to tell our “therapies” and to get some feedback. All the therapies were told without interruption, and of course it was pointed out by the chair that “anything said in these rooms stays in these rooms.” The meeting always ended with the Serenity Prayer.
My own feeling before going was that I would be wasting people’s time – as my gambling wasn’t that bad … This was from someone who had spent thousands of his own and borrowed money and was having to work 3 jobs to make ends meet. I was soon put right.
Over the next 10 years I must have attended hundreds of meetings in the North West, Midlands and the North East of England – at one point trying to get to a meeting every night of the week. I felt that my life depended on them. There were meetings where just 3 or 4 people turned up, meetings where there were never any new members and meetings where lots of “newbies” were coming through, what felt like, a revolving door. There were some where people would go to the pub after the meeting (one chosen without fruit machines) and others where this was discouraged. All subtly different but sticking to the basic tenets of the teachings of the 12 steps, the speaking of therapies and checking in with people on how their day to day recovery was going.
I made some friends in the fellowship (and probably some enemies too) and it was, as you can see a big part of my life. Yet in the end I gave it up. I have been to one meeting in the last 15 + years and that was partly to be able to check that things hadn’t changed, before writing this post!
The Benefits of GA - Gamblers' Anonymous
It's a self-help fellowship.
That means that there are no professionals involved (unless like me they are people with a current or past gambling problem.) The advice that you will hear in the rooms will be what has worked for the people there.
It also means that there are no paid people involved – even the elected officials are ordinary members. Any money raised in the fellowship goes towards the rent of rooms, literature, the running of the website etc.
It means (in theory) that everyone is equal. Of course, there are some with bigger egos than others as in all organisations – but all in all, GA is a very democratic organisation.
It's confidential.
What is said in the rooms stays in the rooms. You are then trusting the other members of the meeting to keep to that – but in my 10 years in the fellowship I saw the anonymity guarantee only being flaunted occasionally. It is particularly important when there may be GAMANON (for families affected by gambling) attending at the same time – as it could cause some family disruption if tales are told!
It's self-sufficient.
The fellowship (unless things have change recently and I doubt it) does not accept money from any other source. That means that no monies that may have been tainted by gambling (e.g. from the National Lottery) come into the fellowship. I may speak more on this when I post about other Gambling help organisations.
There are meetings in most Cities and now online!
It is relatively easy to find a meeting in the US, (where it started) and in the UK. It is not international though – there are large parts of the world where GA does not exist. If you live in such a place – you may have to look at alternatives. NB. Since the pandemic – a lot of meetings have gone on-line so are accessible from ANYWHERE. Here is a link to the Gamblers in Recovery website which lists the world-wide meetings usually on the Zoom platform.
It's down to earth.
There may be people there of different races, creeds, social class and gender but the craic as far as it goes is usually the same. The fellowship is formed of people who want to stop gambling or keep from gambling again. That unites in a way that I have rarely seen elsewhere.
It's a community.
This means that you can be as involved as you want. There are always things to be done – just doing jobs within the meeting or in the local area. There will be forums on the website and you can write letters to be printed in the journal “New Life.” People who gamble often do this alone and are naturally loners – so it is good to be involved with others.
It's dependable.
GA has been around for many years (1957 in the US and 1964 in the UK.) The meetings almost always happen (it is rare for at least the chair not to be there) and there is a helpline and a website. GA is there for people who need it.
It's free (except for an optional donation)
This of course is important for people who are still gambling and may not have much money or may not be carrying any money. Later as recovery progresses you may be able to contribute more.
It's 12 step based – it's spiritual
This can be good for some who need to be reminded of a link to a higher power. Some people have found that turning to a religion or a spiritual belief has been helpful in keeping away from gambling. It can start with GA.
MY Concerns about GA - Gamblers' Anonymous
It's a self-help fellowship.
That means that there are no professionals involved (unless like me they are people with a current or past gambling problem.) The advice that you will hear in the rooms will be what has worked for the people there. Now I know you are thinking – “where have I just read that before – ah yes in the “benefits section – above,” but I think it is important to say that GA is NOT a professional service and that if you have difficult underlying problems (depression, or suicidal thoughts for example) then you will need to augment your attendance with seeing a specialist who can really offer expertise.
It's self-sufficient.
Again, also in the “benefits” list – but being self-sufficient does mean that it is run on a shoe-string and often depends on a lot of good will from the actual fellowship members.
Things can appear tacky (like the room in the red light area – which, of course, is no longer there.) I know from experience that the fellowship can ask a lot from members and there are few internal support networks. If people “burn out” it can lead back to gambling.
It smacks of religion.
About 6 of the 12 steps mention God (as we understand him) and that can be off-putting to those of no religious affiliation and (presumably) those members of non-theist religions. It is explained that God or a Higher Power can simply be the other people in the room – but there are some people who are so put off by references to things spiritual that it becomes a barrier to recovery.
It's male, it's white, it's local …
Yes, gambling was in my day, a virtually all male ‘occupation.’ Few females were seen in the rooms and often did not stay very long. This has changed and there are now some “female preferred” meetings which I think do include a few men to make the numbers work but are particularly there so that women feel welcome. Being self-help means that meetings reflect the local area – and so people who are in some way “different” may feel a bit out of place.
I think there is also a fear from people of some communities where gambling is seen as a vice; they may be more worried about being recognised. Some people can travel to meetings further from their local area to combat this, but that is not always possible.
You are asked to take part.
Most people find talking about something they have found shameful to a group of strangers daunting to say the least. For some people it is a non-starter and they cannot do it. Others find that speaking in public doesn’t get any easier, even after a time when perhaps you have got to know the other members. Alternatives to GA may need to be found.
GA Itself can be addictive.
Was going to a meeting every night for nearly 3 months too much? Was getting to hundreds of meetings and being very involved in the workings of GA good for my recovery? I have heard it said that people can be addicted to the recovery programme and this can lead to being unwilling to look at any other means of tackling recovery. Some resist building on GA to look at ways of augmenting it (Going to meetings is all I need!)
I took a break from GA when I felt I had put so much into it that it led to a relapse into gambling. I was also, at the time, upset that there was no reaching out by the fellowship to me when I needed it. (However, I now feel differently about that.)
To Sum Up
– I feel that GA is THE place to be in the early days of recovery. Giving up a compulsive behaviour is a really difficult ask – and virtually impossible on your own. Meeting with and getting support from others who are either going through or have been through the process of recovery is the best way to move forwards.
Later when the recovery is stronger – I think it is important to look at some of the deeper issues involved. It has struck me that there are two types of gamblers – the first (like me) who uses the behaviour to block out other things in life that need dealing with. The second, those who use gambling to bolster a shaky sense of self. Counselling and group work to deal with the difficult emotional issues is not something that can be done “in the rooms,” and this is where I felt co-counselling and therapy really helped me.
Again – the GA links are – UK and US and International.
The link to the gamblers in recovery website – which lists online GA meetings accessible from anywhere in the world is here.
As always – this is a personal view and I would welcome any comments that people may wish to add. All comments will be kept anonymous – unless you choose otherwise.
